I'm much to young to feel this damn old

I don't know if I have already used this Garth Brooks song title as a blog post, but I don't care. I am using it again! Third week of practice started last night. I am going to speak frankly that I am not sure, for me, if MONDAY night is the best night to have practice... It is just one long ass mofo day with my commute. Nonetheless, we started practice again with bootcamp stuff. Now, I can't rightfully do EVERY SINGLE thing we do, but I felt that my body was ready for what we were doing. I mean, we have done it three times so far, but still. I felt a little bit more able (Is that appropriate grammar) to hold something longer, or try something harder.

I need to bring that attitude into my next practice. I need to not decide before the drill even starts that I can't do it. We did a pace line drill last night that I decided a few times around that I couldn't keep the pace so I skated out. I know I have had 8 month sitting on my ass and I should give myself this leeway but there are times I just talk myself out of doing stuff, or talk myself out of continuing. I need to PUSH myself harder. I just don't know if I have the energy to do so. If I pushed myself harder last night I wouldn't be able to walk today and my ability to walk right now is debateable.

One of the last drills of the night was an obstacle course and I watched as everyone did it. Well, I SQUATTED while everyone else did it as we squat while we wait. By the time it got around to the last couple of people, I decided I would be remiss if I didn't try it. So I tried it. It was an okay attempt... The line went through again at a quicker pace and I did it again and fell on the first part. BUT THIS FALL WAS OKAY... It was a kinder, gentler fall because I knew it was happening. It wasn't an "oh no my legs can't take this anymore and I am just going to fall down", it was a "Damn I am not landing this well and why not make it into a crazy, flagrant fall with my leg up in the air like a baseball slide". I got my self right back up and did everything that was asked to the best of my ability... It was like I needed that crazy fall to better myself and continue... I didn't freak out, I just got up and did what I needed to do...

So, although I feel like I could use a walker today. I am thankful for that fall and hopefully that will keep me from being afraid of future falls.

Maybe my next blog post can be entitled UNANSWERED PRAYERS, another Garth Brooks song to show how much I have improved... hehehe. I am a laugh riot!