As I was driving to work today it dawned on me that Easter is right around the corner and it reminded me of a story that should go into the annals of "THIS COULD ONLY HAPPEN TO KATIE MILLS".
I can't remember if it was my junior or senior year of high school - but I had started working for Shop 'n Save in Franklin, NH (now Hannafords) and for Easter they needed someone to dress up as the Easter Bunny and walk around giving out JAX cheese doodles to the kids. You KNOW I volunteered.
In doing so, this rather odd, hippy looking guy (whom I think was intoxicated) came up to me and grabbed me (mind you I have a big pink bunny suit on w/ a LARGE head like a mascot) and told me he remembers me from a Grateful Dead Concert and proceeded to HUMP MY LEG! No one was around to stop this and I was freaking out in the suit and I can't remember if fellow co-works saw the assault and pulled him off or I pushed him off.
None the less - I do think I am scarred for life for this and this could be why I am not a fan of Easter. However, isn't that a crazy story?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
What is the probablity of that?
I am wicked awesome at stating the obvious... Therefore, you already know that I am a dork. To elaborate further, I went to Broken Ground Elementary school Thursday morning to purchase tickets to a musical that Kids In Action is presenting starting March 26th. My friends' kids are in the production and I sincerely enjoy going to their extracurricular events to let them know that I care about them and support them in what they are doing. Kids In Action is presenting FIDDLER ON THE ROOF which is one of my ALL TIME or possibly my favorite musical ever, so that doesn't hurt either.
Okay, I digress, so I head into Broken Ground and go to the office and advise whomever that I was there to purchase tickets for the show. I wait in the office patiently for said person to go and find out where I can obtain tickets. She returns and asks me to follow her (BTW, there are a lot of kids who play the violin at Broken Ground... WHO KNEW?) So, I head down the hallway and for some reason I am stopped while a herd of kids has to pass by or something and I hear a voice say, "MISS MILLS!" so I turn around in my tracks and the woman standing RIGHT next to me turns to the voice and says, "Yes!" I was in awe. What is the probability that I am standing right next to another Miss Mills right at the same time as someone calls out her/my name? Seriously? Isn't that crazy?
Anyone who knows how to do the math and figure out the probability on that, could you let me know? My guess is like one in at least a cazillion.
Also, what I thought was interesting, and is basically just a side note, is that after the 'Miss Mills' occurrence, I was brought to the appropriate person to purchase tickets, which was the music teacher. She asked me to follow her into the music room which I, of course, did. In that moment, I really think that she was trying to size me up to see if I was a child molester or something (I am completely overreacting, to this I am almost 100% certain) but she was asking me why I wanted to see the show and who I knew that was in it and why I only wanted to buy one ticket. Does that sound odd to anyone else? I am sure it is most likely small talk but I just found it rather interesting that she HAD to know who I was coming to see and why I was coming alone. I should have said something very sarcastically like because I am a sad, sad person in this world and I honestly have no friends and I very well may have leprosy... but I bit my tongue and just spoke the truth. However, in retrospect, am I right in thinking it was really none of her business? Or have things become more strict, especially in elementary schools, as to who can come to events or not?
Okay, I digress, so I head into Broken Ground and go to the office and advise whomever that I was there to purchase tickets for the show. I wait in the office patiently for said person to go and find out where I can obtain tickets. She returns and asks me to follow her (BTW, there are a lot of kids who play the violin at Broken Ground... WHO KNEW?) So, I head down the hallway and for some reason I am stopped while a herd of kids has to pass by or something and I hear a voice say, "MISS MILLS!" so I turn around in my tracks and the woman standing RIGHT next to me turns to the voice and says, "Yes!" I was in awe. What is the probability that I am standing right next to another Miss Mills right at the same time as someone calls out her/my name? Seriously? Isn't that crazy?
Anyone who knows how to do the math and figure out the probability on that, could you let me know? My guess is like one in at least a cazillion.
Also, what I thought was interesting, and is basically just a side note, is that after the 'Miss Mills' occurrence, I was brought to the appropriate person to purchase tickets, which was the music teacher. She asked me to follow her into the music room which I, of course, did. In that moment, I really think that she was trying to size me up to see if I was a child molester or something (I am completely overreacting, to this I am almost 100% certain) but she was asking me why I wanted to see the show and who I knew that was in it and why I only wanted to buy one ticket. Does that sound odd to anyone else? I am sure it is most likely small talk but I just found it rather interesting that she HAD to know who I was coming to see and why I was coming alone. I should have said something very sarcastically like because I am a sad, sad person in this world and I honestly have no friends and I very well may have leprosy... but I bit my tongue and just spoke the truth. However, in retrospect, am I right in thinking it was really none of her business? Or have things become more strict, especially in elementary schools, as to who can come to events or not?
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Straight or Curly
I have had naturally curly hair since puberty, basically. I feel a lot of my identity, or who I am comes from the fact that I have curly hair. I have noticed in TV and movies, the only women who have curly hair are considered clueless, out there and just eccentric.
For example, in the movie The Women, in the beginning of the movie, she has GORGEOUS curly hair, but she is a space cadet and just very eccentric in her style and clueless about what is really going on in her life. To not spoil the movie, at the end when she gets things heading in the right direction, her hair is PIN straight.
Another example, Jennifer Hudson. When Jennifer Hudson first appeared on American Idol (the only season I watched) and she had the glorious fro that I actually WISH I could have. After each week she continued on the show, slowly there was transformation and the first thing to go was her CURLY FRO.
What I take from this is that society wants everyone with curly hair to go along with social norms and have straight hair.
Ever see that show on Bravo called Millionaire Matchmaker? Oh ya, she OUTRIGHT said that when she is casting women to see if millionaires want to date them that if the women have curly hair they HAVE to get their hair blown out straight.
All of this is an affront to who I am, I am proud of my curly locks. The last time I straightened my hair I was told by a guy that I liked that I looked like Trailer Trash. I have nothing wrong with STRAIGHT HAIR, it is just the bad rap I think curly hair gets.
I was in South Boston last weekend for the St. Patrick's day parade and two of my friends went to this restayrant/sandwich place called the Amsterdam and my guy friend mentioned that a girl who walked in was hot - and then she was followed by this tall, professional looking woman with curly hair and I said to my guy friend, "Now, SHE is pretty" and he said, "He couldn't date a girl with curly hair!" Um, what? So, now curly hair is just not attractive?
So, I want to do some sort of research regarding respect and curly/straight hair. I don't know how I am going to do this, but I am going to spend some time figuring it out. Maybe I will change a profile picture somewhere to be me with straight hair (which would mean I would have to straighten my hair which takes up to 2 hours).
I am just frustrated by hearing this because I pride myself in my glorious curly hair and now I am hearing otherwise.
Friday, March 6, 2009
That's how I roll
I am recently very saddened about the state of affairs of how the only good woman for a man to have for a girlfriend is a skinny one. Due to my recent infatuation/obsession with Kid Rock, I have joked about how I would get liposuction and my boobs done so he would notice me and we could get married and live happily ever after. Katie Rock sounds AWESOME or Katie Ritchie sounds good too- I digress...
I went to the doctor on Wednesday for a follow up and since it was a follow up I wasn't expecting to be weighed. This is very nerve wracking for me, I don't like to know because I feel like the incredible increasing woman. So, I get on the scale see my weight and just freak out. THEN the nurse proceeds to do my BP and ask me why it appears very high. I bluntly explain that I wasn't expecting to be weighed and I would have worn lighter clothes, not drank two coffees and would have been mentally prepared.
After hearing the result of my weight I have been significantly bummed. Yes, I know I have gained a lot of weight. Yes, I know I have to be wicked active in order to be skinny (or less fat) and I haven't been very active. My life has changed to a very sedentary lifestyle and I don't like it. I want to change it but my excuse right now is that I can't afford it. I want to go and join the gym but I want to pay for a year in advance (which is close to $600) so I don't have to worry about not having the money in the future to do so.
Now, in thinking about wanting to go back to the gym, it makes me wonder. In 2001 when I got back from the mole, I knew I wouldn't be happy with how I would look on TV and I joined the gym and became OBSESSED- I would go 3 hours/day 7 days a week. It was ingrained into my life. I lost 50 lbs and I was absolutely gorgeous. Then I met a guy and I just stopped going and here I am now.
I am still the same, funny, crazy girl as I am now, but I was skinny before and now I just have more rolls - why does that make me unattractive? Why is it the girl with zero body fat that is the IDEAL woman? I have a great personality, I enjoy various things both indoor and out door, I am funny as all get out and I am just an all around (no pun intended) well-rounded gal. However, the most important factor in all of this is that I am pudgy which makes me undesirable.
Am I currently unhappy because I have rolls or am I currently unhappy because I am not dating anyone and I don't seem to be able to date anyone due to my rolls? I am concerned about my health and I know it isn't healthy for me to be overweight, I have been overweight my whole life and know the ins and outs of what it is about and how it effects me and people in my family who have weight issues.
What also saddens me is that I am at the heaviest I have ever been and I am trying to eat better and not over eat. I don't munch at work. I bring a weight watchers breakfast sandwich, have my two cups of coffee and I don't really eat lunch. I get home, eat my dinner and maybe have a fat free snack. Why aren't I at least maintaining my weight? I wish I could just start smoking again, you know?
Why is it so difficult? Why do I feel that in order to be good in the eyes of a man, I need to weigh less. However, am I truly happy at this weight? Would I be happier if I was a size 8? I remember when I got super skinny after the mole and I met Kevin - I thought I had made it, I was skinny (in my eyes) and happy and living the life. However, I was diagnosed with anxiety, quit my job, moved away with an alcoholic and had to get a restraining order out on him... That's not happy either.
So, is happy being who I am right now physically (still the same every other way) or losing weight and working out like a fiend to get skinny and find a guy who only likes me because I am skinny? I look back at pictures of me when I was looking good and I looked SO GOOD. However, I take pictures of myself now for facebook or dating pages and I see a little extra in my cheeks but not that much. I don't get it.
I have been on the dating pages lately and seeing some VERY attractive males. I have sent them emails KNOWING they won't be attracted to me (unless they are chubby chasers and frankly I don't think those exist) but have to tell them that they are FAR too handsome to be online dating. The guys tell me thank you and then that's the end of correspondence.
I was supposed to go out with a new girl from work tonight and I dressed the best that I could- I was really nervous about it though because who wants to be seen out with the fat girl? Like I am going down to do the parade and a pub crawl with my friend in South Boston and I am so nervous that because I am at my heaviest I am going to be looked at differently and judged.
For example, I am talking to this guy online and he plays and coaches basketball and I guess they are in the finals and they won the first part of the qualifiers and I asked him if he takes the kids out for a pizza party - and then I was like - DUH - fat girl asking about food... Or the other day at work when I was looking for paper towels in the cafeteria area so I could nuke my smart one's breakfast and one of the attractive young guys was like, "What are you looking for? The cookies are over there." I am sure he didn't mean it like - HEY FATTY WANT A COOKIE - but that's how I take it.
I guess what I need to figure out is if I am happy being rolly or if I feel like I have to be someone else and not myself when I lose weight. I plan on using my bonus to join the gym never the less. I guess we will just have to wait and see. I think I worry about this the most because I am turning 33 in less than a month and I never thought I would be alone at this age. I feel like those people that are obsessed with being in fashion or looking the right way for attention, but to me it is lacking rolls.
I went to the doctor on Wednesday for a follow up and since it was a follow up I wasn't expecting to be weighed. This is very nerve wracking for me, I don't like to know because I feel like the incredible increasing woman. So, I get on the scale see my weight and just freak out. THEN the nurse proceeds to do my BP and ask me why it appears very high. I bluntly explain that I wasn't expecting to be weighed and I would have worn lighter clothes, not drank two coffees and would have been mentally prepared.
After hearing the result of my weight I have been significantly bummed. Yes, I know I have gained a lot of weight. Yes, I know I have to be wicked active in order to be skinny (or less fat) and I haven't been very active. My life has changed to a very sedentary lifestyle and I don't like it. I want to change it but my excuse right now is that I can't afford it. I want to go and join the gym but I want to pay for a year in advance (which is close to $600) so I don't have to worry about not having the money in the future to do so.
Now, in thinking about wanting to go back to the gym, it makes me wonder. In 2001 when I got back from the mole, I knew I wouldn't be happy with how I would look on TV and I joined the gym and became OBSESSED- I would go 3 hours/day 7 days a week. It was ingrained into my life. I lost 50 lbs and I was absolutely gorgeous. Then I met a guy and I just stopped going and here I am now.
I am still the same, funny, crazy girl as I am now, but I was skinny before and now I just have more rolls - why does that make me unattractive? Why is it the girl with zero body fat that is the IDEAL woman? I have a great personality, I enjoy various things both indoor and out door, I am funny as all get out and I am just an all around (no pun intended) well-rounded gal. However, the most important factor in all of this is that I am pudgy which makes me undesirable.
Am I currently unhappy because I have rolls or am I currently unhappy because I am not dating anyone and I don't seem to be able to date anyone due to my rolls? I am concerned about my health and I know it isn't healthy for me to be overweight, I have been overweight my whole life and know the ins and outs of what it is about and how it effects me and people in my family who have weight issues.
What also saddens me is that I am at the heaviest I have ever been and I am trying to eat better and not over eat. I don't munch at work. I bring a weight watchers breakfast sandwich, have my two cups of coffee and I don't really eat lunch. I get home, eat my dinner and maybe have a fat free snack. Why aren't I at least maintaining my weight? I wish I could just start smoking again, you know?
Why is it so difficult? Why do I feel that in order to be good in the eyes of a man, I need to weigh less. However, am I truly happy at this weight? Would I be happier if I was a size 8? I remember when I got super skinny after the mole and I met Kevin - I thought I had made it, I was skinny (in my eyes) and happy and living the life. However, I was diagnosed with anxiety, quit my job, moved away with an alcoholic and had to get a restraining order out on him... That's not happy either.
So, is happy being who I am right now physically (still the same every other way) or losing weight and working out like a fiend to get skinny and find a guy who only likes me because I am skinny? I look back at pictures of me when I was looking good and I looked SO GOOD. However, I take pictures of myself now for facebook or dating pages and I see a little extra in my cheeks but not that much. I don't get it.
I have been on the dating pages lately and seeing some VERY attractive males. I have sent them emails KNOWING they won't be attracted to me (unless they are chubby chasers and frankly I don't think those exist) but have to tell them that they are FAR too handsome to be online dating. The guys tell me thank you and then that's the end of correspondence.
I was supposed to go out with a new girl from work tonight and I dressed the best that I could- I was really nervous about it though because who wants to be seen out with the fat girl? Like I am going down to do the parade and a pub crawl with my friend in South Boston and I am so nervous that because I am at my heaviest I am going to be looked at differently and judged.
For example, I am talking to this guy online and he plays and coaches basketball and I guess they are in the finals and they won the first part of the qualifiers and I asked him if he takes the kids out for a pizza party - and then I was like - DUH - fat girl asking about food... Or the other day at work when I was looking for paper towels in the cafeteria area so I could nuke my smart one's breakfast and one of the attractive young guys was like, "What are you looking for? The cookies are over there." I am sure he didn't mean it like - HEY FATTY WANT A COOKIE - but that's how I take it.
I guess what I need to figure out is if I am happy being rolly or if I feel like I have to be someone else and not myself when I lose weight. I plan on using my bonus to join the gym never the less. I guess we will just have to wait and see. I think I worry about this the most because I am turning 33 in less than a month and I never thought I would be alone at this age. I feel like those people that are obsessed with being in fashion or looking the right way for attention, but to me it is lacking rolls.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
That's SNOT fair
I have been taking a 10mg loratidine pill every day for the last 10 years (basically when I started teaching) because I am very prone to sinus infections. If I don't take this medication it will result in me having to go on an antibiotic and feeling like full blown ass. One time, I was in Keene for a pledging activity and I had to be driven all the way home by someone else to my parents' house because I had a MASSIVE fever. Side bar- I can't even drink yummy GIN because that SPARKS sinus infections in those who are prone - learned that the hard way during buy one get one free in SPAIN.
None the less, my ARNP last year gave me a starter kid for this SINUS rinse thing - and for all intents and purposes it is GROSS but it works like magic. I woke up this morning with that yucky post nasal drip feeling and I was like, "Ah-hah! I should get my sinus rinse out!" I happened to have purchased in bulk the sodium packets last year, because this thing saved my life.
Basically all you do is fill this bottle thing up to a pre-determined line with warm water. You pour in the packet of sodium whatever - swill it around with your finger over the cap. Her comes the gross part... You bend over your sink and squeeze the bottle up one nostril then blow out whatever is in your nose - then switch nostrils... It takes a bit to get used to but it is an amazing life saver.
Currently I still have a little post nasal feeling going but I have only done the treatment once - I will do it when I get home tonight too - twice a day during the winter months should suffice and I will keep you posted. I am hoping this will solve my previous bloody nose issue and keep me from getting sick.
I give it two thumbs up - give it a shot and if you have any questions let me know.
None the less, my ARNP last year gave me a starter kid for this SINUS rinse thing - and for all intents and purposes it is GROSS but it works like magic. I woke up this morning with that yucky post nasal drip feeling and I was like, "Ah-hah! I should get my sinus rinse out!" I happened to have purchased in bulk the sodium packets last year, because this thing saved my life.
Basically all you do is fill this bottle thing up to a pre-determined line with warm water. You pour in the packet of sodium whatever - swill it around with your finger over the cap. Her comes the gross part... You bend over your sink and squeeze the bottle up one nostril then blow out whatever is in your nose - then switch nostrils... It takes a bit to get used to but it is an amazing life saver.
Currently I still have a little post nasal feeling going but I have only done the treatment once - I will do it when I get home tonight too - twice a day during the winter months should suffice and I will keep you posted. I am hoping this will solve my previous bloody nose issue and keep me from getting sick.
I give it two thumbs up - give it a shot and if you have any questions let me know.
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