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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Friend or Foe?

I am recently finding myself reflecting on what a friend actually is. I think intrinsically we all know what a friend means to each one of us as an individual. What I am trying to figure out is what being a friend is to someone else.

Per Dictionary.com:
Friend
1.a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2.a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3.a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
4.a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5.(initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.

Okay- this definition may be help me on my quest to enlightenment. I am not doubting the level of friendship of current friends in my life. I have great friends and I love each and everyone of them dearly. What I am doubting is when someone is your friend and then you doubt his/her intentions.

Does a friend NEVER ask you any personal questions? Or when that person does, is it, "WHAT CRAWLED UP YOUR ASS AND DIED?"

Does a friend always have to be sarcastic to the point where you don't know if he/she is being serious and then says, "I WAS JUST KIDDING, JESUS CHRIST!"

Does a friend tell you to FUCK OFF (and not as a joke)?

I don't think these examples equate a friend. I know my friends ask me about my day, miss me when I am not around, have concern about me if they haven't heard from me, do not curse the ground I walk on, use ugly/evil sarcasm...

I find my research on this to be exhilarating because I am learning that my definition of Friend may differ from others. This does not should like friendship, it sounds like it is TOXIC.

I just found this definition for friend:
A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

I think that is very important. Yes I know this person, I don't think I like this person nor do I trust this person at all...

Interestingly enough A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amīcus "friend" and amō "I love" is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos "friend" and phileō "I love." In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frēond, the Old English word for "friend," was simply the present participle of the verb frēon, "to love." The Germanic root behind this verb is *frī-, which meant "to like, love, be friendly to." Closely linked to these concepts is that of "peace," and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that. Ultimately descended from this noun are the personal names Frederick, "peaceful ruler," and Siegfried, "victory peace." The root also shows up in the name of the Germanic deity Frigg, the goddess of love, who lives on today in the word Friday, "day of Frigg," from an ancient translation of Latin Veneris diēs, "day of Venus."


Let's look at what defines this person, who isn't a friend or maybe is a toxic acquaintance. Toxic isn't the right word because by definition it means:

Capable of causing injury or death, especially by chemical means; poisonous.

So, assist me in obtaining the appropriate definition for this type of friend because right now the ONLY word that comes to mind is ASSHOLE!

3 comments:

Mama Mia said...

Good lord I hope you are not talking about me...

Dirty Kat Box said...

Jocelyn,
Have you ever spoken to me in that manner? COME ON NOW. You know I am not talking about you!

Anonymous said...

Wow!!! Sprklz just released the hounds!!!!!! Don't mess with the Mills-han!!!