Baby Steps

I have to remember that I just put skates on for the first time in September. It is now February. I started skating 23 weeks ago (167 days)... I can't just think I am going to be an Olympian in 167 days... I wasn't an all star softball player in 167 days. I am being my own worse critic. Someone actually told me that they thought I would QUIT because I didn't pass my level ones again. Obviously, that is SO not the case with me. I don't quit. The only thing I quit is SMOKING and that's about it...

In the beginning I was tired of saying this is my second time on skates, this is my third time on skates because the girls in my first Fresh Meat group and my second Fresh Meat group were (are) so talented... I didn't want it to be about me never skating before. While I don't want it to be all about me never skating, I think it has to be in order for me not to be my worst critic. But when you have a new girl asking you, "So are you a Fresh Meat or a Veteran"? It is hard not hold back the emotions of it all and see how far one hasn't come. My response was, " This is my second fresh meat class, I didn't pass my level one both times I was assessed". And the response was "Oh". Yup. That's when the beating myself up begins.

I need to not beat myself up because of my ability or inability. I need to remember that the girls I started skating with in September and in January had skated before in their lives and are now at the scrimmage level and I am at the same level I was as day 1. I have done many things in my life, just never with wheels on my feet... I have to remember that!

I worked on transitions last night - that crazy turning toe stop action... I kind of got it and it surprised me how I got the mechanics and it just clicked. However, before that, I got all bent out of shape because we had to do a drill that required me to skate backwards. Um, I just barely mastered forwards... I did the drill to the best of my ability, but I have to remember that almost every new thing is a milestone and I should be proud that I got THAT far. I can't beat myself up about how I didn't master it immediately....

So, while I want my new goal to be that I can hit and be able to hit so well that I can take down Vicious. My real goal has to be that I have to allow myself the baby steps and not look at how far I have to go but how far I have come... This is hard because I want to be farther than I am, but the road ahead is much shorter than the road behind me, right?

Baby steps. (Thanks Bettie for once again putting this in perspective for me).