Much too young to feel this damn old

Last night was my first time in 5 years to get back on the volleyball court and play. When I moved away from the Concord area, I so missed playing on my league. When I got to Dover, I immediately found myself on a softball team, but something was missing.

When I moved back to the Concord area I was psyched to think I could get back on a volleyball team. The website was provided to me by a friend and I posted a "want ad" asking for me to be picked up for a team in the B league. Here is the definition of B League:

The B league is a Coed volleyball league. Games are once a week, on Tuesday nights. The season typically starts near the end of October and run into April. B league is an intermediate level league. Some of the players are ex-college players, but most learned to play through other leagues and open nights. It's the best league for new players, or players looking to fine tune their skills.

Seeing as I played beach volleyball for years at good ole, now defunct, Kings and Queens Court Vacation Resort and then preceded to play on my High School team for 2 years making Varsity immediately and earning the coveted prize of ROOKIE OF THE YEAR in 1993, I thought this definition of B league explained me well. Might I add, I also went to Bentley Volleyball camp and sent a try out video to KSC's volleyball team so I thought I could hold my own.

I am physically beat up today - I hurt all over - and I did think I would be sore from the physicality it would require. My forearms are slightly bruised from receiving serves. I think for taking a 5 year hiatus that I played very well. I served like an all star, I dug some great hits, I even did some standing spikes, but my team was much more skilled than I expected. I kind of feel like I may have let them down. I realized upon my arrival that when I played years ago, I played on the C league, not the B league... My team, the Fockers, was changing up formations so that this guy could set for us. I understand these formations as I used to be a setter (the one who receives the bump to set someone up for a spike or a kill) but I have never been anything really other than a Setter. I was just supposed to KNOW where they wanted me to go.

All the things that I CAN do in life, MIND READER has never been one of them. So, I played my damnedest. We won 2 out of the 5 matches. It was good exercise, I enjoyed playing but I don't think I enjoyed the team that picked me up. At one point I was yelled at, "KRISTY, MOVE BACK A LITTLE" I turned around confidently and said, "KATIE WILL MOVE BACK, I DON'T KNOW WHO KRISTY IS". SERIOUSLY!

On my way out, I said to the Coach - LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO COME BACK NEXT WEEK and no lie, his response was like Eeyore - Your on the team. Like, sorry we are stuck with you... So, I emailed him today saying :

I sincerely hope that you weren't disappointed w/ my ability level last night in playing. I found out, upon arrival, that the league I used to play on was the C league, not the b league. I personally feel that for not playing in 5 years that I did pretty well. But if you feel that you would like to find another female to play who is more skilled, I would understand. I just don't want to bring the team down in anyway.

I kind felt like a fish out of water - and maybe that was because I missed the first game, but I promise I will improve and practice. Just let me know.


Volleyball used to be fun, and I would like for it to continue to be fun. I am paying 60-something bucks to be on this league, shouldn't I enjoy it? However, I am uncertain if I am just being the overly competitive, hard on myself Katie or if it was just a bad thing all around. For example, I was playing back line and I tried to bump the serve to the setter and it went flying in the opposite direction a few too many times - let's say 5-7 times and they changed up the floor strategy so I wouldn't get the serve. Or I was set up for a spike and it went into the net and the coach moaned so loudly that I almost walked out right then and there.

Part of me is saying I have yet to pay for this league, maybe I should just no show and not come back, the other part of me says JUST EFFEN PLAY.

This is the response I got from the coach of the Fockers:

Hi Katie,
we have 4 girls on our team. One didn't show up last night because she was sick and couldn't find a baby sitter. If you ever feel that your out of place and would rather stop playing then that's your call, but I'm not going to kick someone off the team just because their not at the level with the rest of the team. Maybe if it was A league i would but not at B level. We play 5 games a night and with 4 girls that means one girl has to sit out 2 games a night. While we will rotate who that girl is, depending on the team we're playing I might choose you to be that girl if you don't mind. I understand you haven't played in awhile and as the year goes on you'll get better. As long as your having fun that's all that matters.

I really don't know how I feel about this response - he obvious doesn't believe I am at their level but maybe I am over reacting. (BTW, I bolded the part in his email for clarification of what I thought was kind of mean)...

Tell me what you think? He has a good point - as long as I am having fun, that's all that matters. I guess I have to realize if I am really having fun. I should give myself credit where credit is due. I know NO ONE who is playing and put myself out there for a team who needed extra players. That's huge... I just don't know if it is worth it.