It was the best of days, it was the worst of days

Assessments... I don't know why I get so tense with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING? Probably because I don't like doing things wrong. Who does? Probably because I want to pass SO bad. Probably because I am not used to performing badly at an athletic level.

I have played sports since I was five years old. YES this is the first time I have ever played sports on wheels, but still... I am extremely frustrated in myself that it isn't coming to me easier... Could it be that I am now 33 years old? Maybe. Could it be that I weigh more? Who knows. What I do know is that it bugs me to no end. I eat, sleep and breath thinking about these dastardly crossovers. And, once I get those, who knows how long it will take me to get the turning toe stops?

So, Monday's assessment went slightly better than my first assessment. Interestingly enough I realized I was wearing the same socks as I wore on 10/09/09... Which may be why I had the same leg pain, but that could just be an excuse (They are the Keen socks and they are tight). I think I nailed the same stuff I nailed last time - t stops, toe stops, plow stops, single knee slides, rock star slides, and BASEBALL SLIDES (MY FAVORITE). Last time, after 8 practices, I didn't have any balance. I couldn't skate around on one foot to save my life... This time, it was like second nature.... However, the crossovers are what caused me to not pass. Last time, (10/09/09) I couldn't even fathom DOING a crossover... This time, I did the crossovers as I have been doing them since I figured out how to physically do them. Interestingly enough, this is wrong. I was told I do a cross over like I am running and that I need to do them more sweepingly and with a "glide". I get that. It makes sense. I have learned how to do crossovers by watching other people, so in theory I was translating what I saw into how I was doing the crossovers. I must have been watching wrong.

When we were advised who passed, I didn't hear my name. Not shocked but still hoping, in my heart of hearts, that I would pass. Nope. However, it was stated (in front of everyone) how far I have come since never being on skates before September and I should be proud of how far I have come. Okay. Proud of failing my level one assessment not once, but twice. Proud of failure. That doesn't work for me. Has anyone on the team failed twice... Nope, just Katie Mills.

So, I turned it into a Katie Mills pity party for a little bit... I am now able to not get teary about it, but I am just frustrated with myself. I don't fail. Next practice that I am able to attend, I am going to try and glide. I will be a level 1.

The part that made it the best of days was that when I walked into practice a bunch of my friends came up to me and said they were staging an intervention... I was confused because I hadn't drank that day... They handed me an envelope (which I had difficulty opening) and within that envelope were tickets to see KID ROCK at Mohegan Sun. The concert I was bummed that I wouldn't be able to attend because I just couldn't afford it... I BURST into tears... I couldn't believe it. No one has EVER done anything so nice for me in my life... So, when I think back about how bad I felt at the end of practice, I remember how awesome I felt at the beginning of practice. And that makes me smile, and will continue to make me smile for a long, long time.