Feeling kind of empty

I don't know how to explain it. I am not the kind of person who needs a boyfriend or has to have one all the time. In the 33 years of my existence I have been single longer than I have been in a relationship. That being said, lately I have been feeling like something is missing. Not sure what or how. I mean, I am feeling good about myself again and I think therapy and changing my life goals have really put everything I need in perspective. BUT SOMETHING IS AMISS.

Maybe I am in heat or something but I am checking out every guy I see, especially looking at his left hand to see if there is a ring. I have NEVER been like this. Could this be a biological clock thing (although I have NEVER wanted to have kids)? Could it be a boredom thing since I am currently in between jobs? Who knows. What could it be?

I am not looking for a relationship, I am not looking for a hook up. I don't know what I am looking for, I just feel like a piece of me is missing - which is odd. The other day I was watching TV and I almost reached for the phone to find a phone number for an ex so I could tell him that SPONGE BOB was going to be appearing somewhere this weekend and I was sure his kids would love it. Um, the last time I spoke with this person he called me the C word, um, I don't want to talk to him or tell him anything. Why did I have that fleeting thought? Could it just be that it isn't worth the effort of anger? Do I miss him? HELL NO!

I am just confused. I don't know what caused this confusion. Maybe it is due to lack of me being able to relax that having nothing on my plate has caused me to actually delve inside to my own thoughts. Specifically the thoughts I have no control over - but what is that going to do? I have more important fish to fry, like obtaining a job... Who knows. However, if you know any eager and willing men send them my way.