Woes of online dating - When being an eager beaver is far too eager

Online dating is so predatory. I think one has to keep a protective shield up while hunting for an appropriate mate online...

I met two people online this past week. One guy sent me an email saying, "He would be remiss if he waited one more moment to tell me that I had a beautiful smile". His picture was fuzzy and far away, but I liked the compliment. We started emailing - and the compliments continued to flow. That's when I put my protective shield up. This dude must know how to sweet talk or feel the need to woo people. Come to find out, this is the first time in 20 years he has been single - and he has only been single since August. He has three kids, the oldest is 10 years old. I figured this dude out. He wanted someone to take care of him again... Far too complimentary and eager for me to fill the shoes of a past wife or girlfriend. When I questioned if he thought that one needs alone time to figure him/herself out, he didn't agree with that. Okay, buh-bye.

The other guy I met seemed nice. His pictures weren't fuzzy but one was scary... I figured my photos may not all be pleasant as beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, we started chatting and that was very nice. We talked for the 1st time on Friday, he called on Saturday and asked to come up and visit... WOH! Hold on speedy... I told him, and later I found out I shouldn't have mentioned it, that per the RULES a guy shouldn't ask for a date on the weekend after Tuesday... (while I don't actually FOLLOW the RULES, I do feel that they have some basis in dating). I also said I had a zit on my chin and a tooth ache, so I wasn't mentally prepared for a get together. He then asked for Sunday... Um, was he listening? He then asked about next weekend. I advised that I had tentative plans. I said if I wasn't going to CT on Saturday that MAYBE we could get together... He agreed but then I think he didn't appreciate it enough. Sunday he was barely textually active... The other thing, he lives in MA. He has family in NH, but what does coming up to visit entail? HELL NO is he coming to my house for our first meeting... NO THANK YOU. And no way is a sleep over warranted on the first meeting either. I don't have a couch either, so where would he stay... The more I reflect on this the more I am re-thinking this dude.

So, as I often do, I sat back and went through every conversation we had and in retrospect, I don't think this guy rolls my socks up and down... He just texted me now and I am so not feeling it. See how he likes it when I don't respond.

So, tell me, when is being eager a plus? Am I just overreacting or is this fate just telling me that these two guys are toads?

While I am ready to get back into the dating pool, am I too picky or do I have a right to be this selective or judgemental initially? I mean, I don't want to waste my time. I have been on far too many HORRIBLE blind/first dates that I should know by now at the get-go when I have another toad, right?

I am far too tired to give the benefit of the doubt anymore. I have done that 4 too many times.