I am not a violent person - I got in one fight in 5th grade, on the way to CCD - It was Andrea Colpritt nee Boucher, myself and Christina Cataldo - and we decided to punch her on the walk to Catechism. It was probably like I was punching jello at a negative 5 miles per hour... Andrea and I were grounded for 1 week. Oh, and when I was young - on a Saturday morning cartoon day, I wanted to watch the Smurfs and my waste of skin brother wanted to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks - so I right jabbed him in the gut - That's my history of violence.
The radio station I listen to, 100.3 WHEB has a weekly punch in the face segment and I have wanted to call in so many times but I haven't done it yet - which got me thinking that daily I want to punch someone in the face. There are different levels of severity to my punches.
If one really just frosts my fanny, burns my apple, chaps my arse - I simply say, "I'm gonna punch (insert name here) in the face.
If it is a woman who makes me angry, I sometimes quote "The Anchorman" and say, "I'm gonna punch her in the baby maker" *and then I strike a pose like I just punched her (a la Popeye) w/ my left arm...
If it is someone I really wish I could cause SERIOUS HARM TO - like a habitual offender - I like to say I am going to punch them in the throat - hoping I could crush his/her windpipe (a la John Travolta in BROKEN ARROW)...
I serious do not wish anyone harm and no farm animals were injured while typing this blog - but sometimes people get me SO pissed off that the only way I can diffuse/deflect my anger is to threaten them with pain! Is that wrong?
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1 comment:
I wish my blog was as funny as yours! Maybe someday.
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